In an egregious abuse of unspoken customer conduct, a local man ordered a kids meal at Goodcents for himself even though there were no children with him. Investigators have not been able to locate him […]
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Tag: news
Man Outraged by Beyoncé’s Loss Drinks Gallons Of Lemonade In Protest
After a shocking loss to Adele at the Grammy’s, Beyonce’s fans, also know as the Bey Hive, went a little crazy defending their queen Beyoncé. They took to Twitter, Facebook, and even to Dell.com (presumably […]
Man Walks Out on Family for Goodcents
A Local Man walked directly out of his house today after taking a hard look at his life when he realized just how often he daydreams about spending alone time eating Goodcents. Eyewitnesses said that […]
BREAKING: Girlfriend Claims She Doesn’t Care Where They Eat
A Local-Attractive-Man returned home from work tonight ready to enjoy a nice evening with little to no thinking – an expectation many can relate to. The fact that he hadn’t made concrete plans with his […]
Local Mom Demands Free Goodcents For A Year
Today a local mom received her delivery order 5 minutes after the estimated time of arrival. This small error has emboldened her to believe she now deserves free Goodcents for an entire year. “The facts […]
Local Teenage Girl Mistakes Goodcents For A Perfume Shop
Earlier this week, a local girl entered a Goodcents mistaking it for a perfume shop. We can only hypothesize at this point, but we believe she heard the name and thought it was spelled […]
Local Woman Counts Individual Shreds Of Lettuce On Sub – Amazed How Many There Are
A Local Woman today took it upon herself to count every single shred of lettuce on her sub. Witnesses say she was absolutely in shock over how many shreds of lettuce there were. In fact, […]
You’ll Never Believe What This Man Who Claimed He Wouldn’t Order A 16” Penny Club Did
Area man insisted last night to several friends and coworkers that he would not be purchasing a 16” Penny Club today. He was overheard saying, “I’m just not going to get a 16” sub tomorrow. […]
Kansas City Sub Shop Launches Satire Site – Doesn’t Know How To Stay In Their Own Lane
At 2:53 this afternoon, a Kansas City-based sub shop, Goodcents Deli Fresh Subs, went live with their own satire site, the Half-Baked Report, in a move that can only be described as “odd.” Explained as […]