Study Shows Millennials Earn More Than Their Parents

A new study shows that Millennials have at least one thing on their parents – earning potential. The study, published by the M.I.U.* Research Institute, confirms what may come as a surprise when it comes to Millennials and how much they earn. Millennials are 52.653789% more likely to earn Goodcents rewards than their Baby Boomer counterparts. We turned to our expert on Millennials, 55-year-old Steve, to get a reaction to this news.

“It’s important to keep in mind that these same Millennials are all unemployed, living with their parents, and horrendously entitled, and yet apparently are earning more. It’s not fair that they’re getting more just for being special snowflakes. They’re such a frustrating generation with their overuse of the pound sign, who are they even trying to call?” Steve told us via a fax.

Steve’s brother reached out to us to inform us that Steve’s been unemployed since May 2003 and has a pet rat, Harold, but no friends.

We then turned to Urban Outfitters shopper, 23-year-old Dusty Rose, who had a much different take. “This is so stereotypical and wrong. I have a full-time job as a software engineer; my parents actually live with me, and I’ve never earned a participation trophy once in my life. If I earn more than my parents it’s because I’ve worked for it,” Dusty told us over a series of Snapchats.

Dusty’s mom reached out to tell us her software engineer job is really just a cashier position at Best Buy and that she’s been calling it her house ever since her parents cleaned out the basement for her, a basement that was full of participation trophies.

We’re not sure either Dusty or Steve understood that the study was about Goodcents rewards specifically. Probably because they were too busy arguing on Facebook.

We give this story a: D-**

*Made It Up
**Ratings are based on how many people make it to the end of articles.