Report: Man In Front Of You In Line Doesn’t Know What He Wants

This just in, that guy in front of you in the line absolutely does not know what he’s going to order and while he may be getting the receipt, you will be the one to pay for his indecision.

This Undecided Man in front of you doesn’t seem to understand that some of us only get 30 minutes (21 minutes now) for lunch and that if the boss catches you coming back from lunch late again you’ll likely be fired and will not be able to support your nighttime hobby of vigilante justice because of a lost job due to a lunch mistake. You simply do not have the emotional willpower to create a new identity and start over in a new state. Not again. Not this time.

This man will be asked by the slicer what he wants and he will respond with a blank stare followed by, “uh…well what’s good here?” As if he has never been in a sub shop before and couldn’t be bothered to look at the menu that he had plenty of time to read while standing in line. The slicer, of course, being the well-trained employee that he is, will explain to the man in front of you in line numerous different menu items and specials. Meanwhile, you will be hearing the ticking of a clock loudly all around you. You can no longer tell if the ticking is coming from a real clock in the restaurant or if it’s your heartbeat rising from stress.

After the Undecided Man has learned about the Penny Club, Sensible Sandwiches, and the fact that he can get a 16” Sub if he wanted to… he will ignore every suggestion the slicer made and ask for a 6” Turkey Sub. A 6” Turkey Sub. He needed 5 extra minutes to decide to pick a Turkey Sub. You are in shock. So deep in shock when it comes time to place your order to the slicer you blank. You can’t think of anything to order and you become what you hate. You stare blankly at the slicer.

End Scene

We give this story a: U for Unsatisfactory*

*Ratings are based on Undecided Man’s creativity