BREAKING: This just in. All sandwich toppings have been renamed. CEO of Goodcents Deli Fresh Subs, Anita Sammich, gave us this exclusive first look at the new sandwich topping names. The move came after a particularly long meeting that became a battleground over the proper pronunciation of tomato. Not wanting to ever have to deal with that again, Sammich made an executive decision to give the toppings names that made sense. Please try and memorize this list for next time you order a sub. You’ll look like a fool if you say “I’d like onions and lettuce please.”
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