Today a Local Man, apparently embarrassed by his appetite and single-status, tried to pull off the ‘ole someone-else-is-totally-here routine when his delivery order arrived. While it is unusual for one person to order two 16” […]
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Category: News
What Happens When Kids Start Eating Bread?
In another win for bread-lovers everywhere, a new study confirms what we all already know. Children who eat bread turn out better than their non-bread-eating peers in every measure across the board. We turned to […]
Local Man Walks Into Goodcents. Thinks It’s A Subway.
In an expected turn of events, a Local Man walked into Goodcents on Monday believing it to be a Subway. We interviewed the slicer, Alicia, to get the scope on this so-common-it-never-gets-reported-on story. “He kept […]
Study Shows Millennials Earn More Than Their Parents
A new study shows that Millennials have at least one thing on their parents – earning potential. The study, published by the M.I.U.* Research Institute, confirms what may come as a surprise when it comes […]
Investigators Searching For Local Man Who Ordered A Kids Meal
In an egregious abuse of unspoken customer conduct, a local man ordered a kids meal at Goodcents for himself even though there were no children with him. Investigators have not been able to locate him […]
Man Outraged by Beyoncé’s Loss Drinks Gallons Of Lemonade In Protest
After a shocking loss to Adele at the Grammy’s, Beyonce’s fans, also know as the Bey Hive, went a little crazy defending their queen Beyoncé. They took to Twitter, Facebook, and even to Dell.com (presumably […]
Man Walks Out on Family for Goodcents
A Local Man walked directly out of his house today after taking a hard look at his life when he realized just how often he daydreams about spending alone time eating Goodcents. Eyewitnesses said that […]
BREAKING: Girlfriend Claims She Doesn’t Care Where They Eat
A Local-Attractive-Man returned home from work tonight ready to enjoy a nice evening with little to no thinking – an expectation many can relate to. The fact that he hadn’t made concrete plans with his […]
Local Mom Demands Free Goodcents For A Year
Today a local mom received her delivery order 5 minutes after the estimated time of arrival. This small error has emboldened her to believe she now deserves free Goodcents for an entire year. “The facts […]
Local Teenage Girl Mistakes Goodcents For A Perfume Shop
Earlier this week, a local girl entered a Goodcents mistaking it for a perfume shop. We can only hypothesize at this point, but we believe she heard the name and thought it was spelled […]