BREAKING: Girlfriend Claims She Doesn’t Care Where They Eat

A Local-Attractive-Man returned home from work tonight ready to enjoy a nice evening with little to no thinking – an expectation many can relate to. The fact that he hadn’t made concrete plans with his girlfriend yet was not on Local-Chiseled-Abs-Man’s mind, but soon this lack of oversight would haunt him. When Local-Dreamy-Man asked his girlfriend where she would like to eat she responded with a loaded, “I don’t care.” We reached out to Local-Cat-Saving-Man to get his side of this meaty story.

“It’s the worst thing she could have said to me. I would’ve preferred if she had just broken up with me instead. I threw out five places to eat that she turned down,” Local-Perfectly-Sensitive-Man said. Screenshots of texts from the best friend reveal that the girlfriend did in fact care where they went to eat but was unwilling to say so. Not wanting to seem “demanding” (which we’ve heard that she is) the girlfriend reached out to us. “I know, I know, I should’ve just said what I wanted to eat but we’ve already been to Goodcents three times this week and I just didn’t want to be the one to say that I wanted to go again.” Our reporters on the scene now are confirming that this is in fact the very same place Local-Loves-His-Mom-Man wanted to eat but he was also unwilling to say so.

Everyone here at Half-Baked Report has a running betting pool on when the couple will break up. Staff writer Sarah has her money on 72 hours. In the event of a breakup the Attractive-Chiseled-Abs-Dreamy-Cat-Saving-Perfectly-Sensitive-Loves-His-Mom-Science-Man should call Sarah at 555-555-5555.

We give this story: D-*

*Ratings are based on the writer’s relationship status.